Or if you thought: Does oral or anal sex or the lack thereof can destroy a marriage? Why is the man looking for such pleasures? What is the psychological mechanism behind these desires? Are only men those who want this or are women having such erotic fantasies? Why are men trying to satisfy these pleasures elsewhere? If you are curious, read below how Cirillas answers such questions.
But before answering the avalanche of questions listed above, the specialist told me that it is necessary to first formulate a theory of couple sexuality, a theory that can be divided into three categories, in order to be simpler to explain:
- “normal” sex (i.e. everything that is a pleasure for both partners but relates only to their own body, such as: positions or places of sexual acts, genital, anal, or oral sex)
- fantasies, and here we can talk, besides the “normal” sex, using an adjunct such as sex toys, roles or costumes used in sexual intercourse, watching adult movies. Read this.
- fantasies are the ones that lead the sexual life to the limit of pathology and even beyond it. And here we refer to threesome, to a whole range of elements that fall into paraphilic disorders (voyeurism, exhibitionism, fetishism, sadism, masochism)
Q: Can we consider oral, anal sex, taboo elements?
Now, once we have done the above division, we have to say that the elements, which can become taboo, differ from one couple to another. There are partners who, due to religion, their own beliefs, or health, can refuse such sex “spices”. So yes, they can represent taboo elements. But today, due to the amount of information or adult movies, oral and anal sex have become a common practice in the couple, perhaps more than ever.
Q: If we only refer to sexual taboos such as oral sex, anal, can we say that their lack of satisfaction can destroy a marriage?
Sometimes yes, sometimes not. It depends on each couple how they manage their conflicts of sexual desire. Most often a tacit agreement is reached, or in the sense that the partner accepts such “pleasures” from time to time, or the man understands that he will never get and give up trying.
Q: Why does the man seek such pleasures? What is the psychological mechanism behind these desires?
First of all, these desires can account for the amount of information and especially for adult films, where actors meet with almost non-skepticism any desire of the partner. Thus, it can be born in the mind of the man that it is normal and natural to ask for anything he sees in the movies from his partner. Helpful hints.
Q: Why do men try to satisfy these pleasures elsewhere? Because they are not satisfied at home or because they do not want to “defile” their wife?
A desire appears to turn into a pulse the loads of mental energy and then wants to be satisfied. Whether it is or not satisfied with the partner, whether or not it is understood by it, the desire remains somewhere in the man’s mind. And if the man notices that he can satisfy this desire elsewhere, he will probably do it. For the sake of the experience, for the sake of novelty, the desire to overcome his limits. It is important to remember that every man is built differently. And here I do not refer to gender. Because a greater sexual desire or an inclination to perversion can be passed on equally to the man, but also to the woman. Not just men have perverse inclinations. Perhaps they are more visible because of their more obvious attitude.
Q: Could you put the wives in some typologies?
Of course, there are surface typologies and depth typologies. You can see a sexy woman dressed up, but who really has no exaggerated desire in this regard. For her, being appealing is nothing more than an investment in self-esteem, not a quality by which she lures an impressive number of men in bed. As a matter of fact, if we talk about a woman dressed poorly, we cannot rule out sexual desire.